a heat index of 100

I woke up this morning not by alarm or chance. Instead, I felt the temperature climbing in the early hours of the morning and peeled back the layer of covers I had put on some time during the cool(ish)ness of the evening. My weather.com icon on my desktop blinked and the automated thunder claps (which still make me jump) crackled through the speakers. The large words: HEAT ADVISORY were all I needed to read. Staying inside our non-air conditioned home would not be an option today. And unfortunately I don't have to the stamina to put up with the heat or to rest in front of the fan like our basset hound friend to the left.

The immediate conclusion then was to retreat to the air-conditioned apartment of our dear friend Britta. Jillian and I packed up our books, computers, and movies to camp out indoors for the day. We are lucky to have friends that a) can afford such luxuries and b) don't mind sharing those luxuries in exchange for nothing but company.

We feasted on pizza with pineapple and green peppers (thanks Jillian) and watched Revolutionary Road. A film of social stiflement and emotional entrapment felt fitting when we ourselves were feeling stifled and trapped (by the humidity that is). The film was honest and filmed with a quiet but unsettling simplicity. Beautiful performances from both Kate Winslet and Leo DiCaprio. It probed into the lives of a seemingly perfect 50s suburban couple, whose veneer unravels as the film progresses. When faced with a life we didn't envision for ourselves, do we fight to find hope or do we let the emptiness consume us?

The day's activity (or rather lack-thereof) has left me feeling exhausted. It is strange to feel fatigue after doing nothing but lounging all day. I realize now how much we are built to work, or at least built to have a balance of work and rest. Having all this rest and free time (a gentler way of saying "I am unemployed") has had its perks, but I admit I'm anxious to find something to DO. I don't know how long this "sabbatical summer" as I've called it will last. So far the progress I had hoped to make hasn't happened. I have been distracted this week by circumstances out of my control and haven't felt myself for the past couple of days. Perhaps when I leave this funk I'll find some motivation to start the dreaded job hunt.

Everything is in transition right now and I think I need to accept the shifting surroundings, embrace what is here but not get trapped into doing nothing. "Here and there does not matter/We must be still and still moving" (err yes, another t.s. eliot quote)

I'm trying. And for now that will be enough.

the trying

For us, there is only the trying. The rest is not our business.- t.s. eliot (from east coker-the four quartets)

The trying. So here is my attempt. My raid on the inarticulate you might say. I've enjoyed reading others' blogs, but have never felt the urge to keep this one going. I guess I haven't found much blog-worthy material in my life as of late. But then again who is to say what is blog-worthy. These days anyone with a creative mind (or lack there of), access to a computer, and a load of free time on their hands can call out their thoughts into the endless cyber-space.

Here I am in the middle of my way, post-grad, new to the neighborhood of northeast minneapolis, unemployed, embarking on.... whatever comes next. Seems like a good time to pick up a new hobby. Knowing my restless self, I'll abandon this venture in a few months for a new one, baking perhaps? or crocheting? We shall see. I hope I can persist.

This is my end becoming a beginning.

ps--I hereby swear to not be so quote-heavy with t.s. eliot in the future, at the moment though his words are on my brain and seem a good subsitute for my lack of words. feel free to keep me accountable to this promise.

one year

I know nobody read this, but for my own sake I wanted to write in here one last time...maybe find closure, but it is hard to come by. One year ago I was buried in clothes and travel gear frantically packing my life into a suitcase to travel across the UK for three months. All of it still rests fresh in my mind and there rarely has been a day that has passed that I haven't wanted to go back. IU know the past can't be repeated, that's impossible. If anything I wish I could cement it in my mind, carve it into my frontal lobe so it will stay there always. I can revist it like wordsworth revisted tintern abbey on the streets of London. In the suburbs of Minneapolis I'll travel back to the fells of the lake district, or the highlands of scotland, the green pastures and sheep-spotted hills of ireland, the crowded tube stations, the bricked streets of stratford, or the cliffed coasts of southern england- back to the beaches of battisborough in my wool sweater, cup of tea and hobnob in hand.


I'll make it back there someday, if only in memory.

finals week....

sunset in cotswolds, england.
our house on the ocean near plymouth.
what class is like on england term
(Bethany, Caleb, and me)

our scene group at sheafhayne manor. we performed a scene from twelfth night.

(alex as malvolio, eve as fabian, britta as toby, i played sir andrew, bethany as maria)
lands end, england. facing home sweet home. ill be there soon.

Me and my man-David.

Florence, Italy

Greatest picture I took in Florence
can't go to italy without trying the espresso;)
beautiful fall day in Lake Como, Italy
BEST night in London (Hilary and I)

me and the eiffel tower (pretty obvious)
now we are in free travel. this is in Nice, France, on the med. sea (it wasn't exactly beach

weather, but it was still beautiful)
in cannes, france, at the spot where the film festival is held, those are mel gibsons hand prints.

gorgeous october day in cannes. i actually swam in this water.

Hilary, Kirsten, and Me in Cannes

Me, Hilary, Bethany, & Kirsten with our Godfather I & II deserts at Bella Italia in London. Yum Yum Yum.

Me, Caleb, Bethany, & Kirsten with the Peter Pan statue in Kensington Gardens, London
I met my friend Keri (fellow bethel study-abroader) in paris. This is at the Louvre
Quite possibly my favorite moment on this trip. this is thibault, he was a foreign exchange student our senior year of highschool. He is studying art in paris. We went out for gelato at Amarinos. the BEST gelato place in Paris.
class picture (minus joe) at luxemborg gardens in Paris (hemingway spot)

sorry these are out of order, but this sums up the last month or so for me. I will be home soon. (10 days!) so see you all soon.

love,

anne

hello

so i know its been a month and it is impossible to update what ive done in the last month in 6 minutes so i just wanted to say that i am alive and well and am having a wonderful time. i am in st.ives right now in the sw of england. in the past month ive seen a lot been a lot of places done too many things to mention and when i get home i will share the pictures and stories from this hiatus ive been taking. my deepest apologies to those that want to keep in touch with my life. i will maybe try putting up pictures in the future, but i only have 3 weeks left. YIKES. and who knows how internet will be in that time. i miss you all and i cant wait to see you in a month.

love,
adventure anne.

hemingway is my man.

so we have this sweet machine at our conference center that can make 12 different coffee drinks. just push a button and wha-la...watered down hot chocolate. yum. seriously though it has been the highlight of these past few days, that and delicious bean salad. hmmm..i'm getting hungry just thinking about it. I should be typing my travel writing essay right now but...I would much rather read more hemingway or eliots four qaurtets. both are brilliant writers. hemingway is the master of language. the master. if you have not read him, you should. at least that is my humble, undergraduate opinion.
I picked up Four Qaurtets today because I was bored and I loved this passage:

So here I am, in the middle way, having had twenty years--
Twenty years largely wasted, the years of l'entre deux guerres
Trying to learn to use words, and every attempt
Is a wholly new start, a different kind of failure
Because one has only learnt to get the better of words
For the thing one no longer has to say, or the way in which
One is no longer disposed to say it. And so each venture
Is a new beginning, a raid on the inarticulate
With shabby equipment always deteriorating
In the general mess of imprecision of feeling,
Undisciplined squads of emotion. And what there is to conquer
By strength and submission, has already been discovered
Once or twice, or several times, by men whom one cannot hope
To emmulate--but there is no competition--
There is only the fight to recover waht has been lost
And found and lost again and again: and now, under condtions
That seem unpropitious. But perhaps neither gain nor loss
For there is only the trying. The rest is not our business.
-East Coker, T.S. Eliot.


I love poetry. and hemingway. and machine hot chocolate. and hob nobs. can't forget those hobnobs.

time to say goodbye...

'ello chaps!

I spent my finally weekend in Ireland this past weekend. We had homestays through a presbyterian church in Belfast. Hilary and I stayed with an elder couple, Tom & Margaret. They were absolutely wonderful. We had a great time just hanging out with them. They are both retired. Tom was a pharmacist and Margaret was a nurse...they met at Tom's pharmacy and have been married for 40+ hears and have 4 kids. I loved listening to all their stories about their kids and grandkids.

They took us around Belfast and showed us the city. We went to St. George's market this big fresh food/other goods market that was inside of warehouse. There was music playing and lots of people and different foods to try. They had a huge table full of seafood--some of it still alive (eww.) They took us to a Cathedral-St. Anne's. It was pretty modern looking. There was a group of mentally disabled adults practicing for a harp and lyre concert. It was beautiful. We stopped and listened to them for a while.

We ate at a Spanish Tapas restaurant that was deserted...but it was really good. We talked about everything..the War, growing up in Northern Ireland, the troubles, her kids....Margaret had a lot to share. She paints as a hobby and has some beautiful paintings hanging up in her house. She is really talented. I love that they are still quite active for their age. They stayed up later than we did!!

The first night they took us to a concert at their church, a local group from the Opera house singing show tunes and opera pieces AND the battle hymn of the republic, which Tom and Margaret loved and pointed out to us right away:) It was really good.

On sunday we went to church with them. The church is really great, a very diverse group--young and old and quite vibrant. It is encouraging to see a living and breathing body of christ that is functioning well---a lot of places we have gone don't seem to be having as much success.

After we said our goodbyes (quite sad really), we had lunch at the church and then left for the airport. I really enjoyed staying with them. I think it was a great opportunity, and one of my favorites of this trip. It is great to get to know some of the people that live here.....and I really enjoyed being in Ireland. I will miss it there---who knows maybe I will come back someday and go to school over here somewhere! If only in my dreams....

This week we are at conference center pretty much in the middle of nowhere outside of London and we are studying. We have a midterm this week & a paper due....but then we are going to PARIS this weekend. YEAH! I am so excited...and after that it is free travel. I can't wait.

Until something else blog-worthy happens,

Cheers!

Anne